Firing Nigel I could get on board with, cause he is old news and needed to leave. BUT FIRING BOTH JAYS. WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK TYRA HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
But I just finally got time to watch the finale of America’s Next Top Model: All Stars. And I have a few choice thoughts:
- That Covergirl shoot was stupid as hell. Like really. Allison looked amazing and Angelea looked like a ghetto ho.
- Allison clearly rocked the Vogue Italia shoot better than the other two.
- The final runway show, let’s be real. Swimming: Allison wins. Flying: Allison wins. Looking beautiful and not like a crazy bitch on the runway: Allison wins by far.
- The final judging was a joke. Like all the amazing things they said about Allison, then they pick meth face Lisa? Seriously? You could tell the whole time that Allison was over it, especially when she had to give Lisa that fake ass congratulations hug.
- Tyra’s hair is busted. She needs to stop it with those ugly bangs and put back on her long red weave from the old days.
Seriously like that was the biggest waste of a cycle. Wasting Allison’s talent like that. Forget cycle 18. Who cares if its US vs UK. Top Model is done.
You stupid ass bitch. Getting me all worked up thinking you were gonna eliminate my boo Allison. Your weave must have been squeezing your brain too tight for even putting her into the bottom two. Bitch.
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86. Being European Is a Disability (Cycle 11)
Marjorie is a walking panic disorder. There’s no situation too insignificant for her to reduce herself to a quivering ball of nerves. After constantly seeing her tense and on the verge of tears, Marjorie is the kind of person you just want to give a hug to, were it no so obvious that physical contact (with the exception of naked lesbian bath time with Analeigh) would probably cause her to hyperventilate further.
But why does Marjorie have less confidence than someone plunging from an airplane without a parachute? As Marjorie explains, “My parents were raised in France, and my parents were always really focusing on the negative… It’s just a mild form of realism.” So those crippling feelings of insecurity Marjorie experiences? She’s just “keeping it real” to borrow a phrase from other reality television contestants. Also, it’s all the rage in Paris.
When Marjorie practically vomits after a mild critique from Paulina, Paulina actually validates Marjorie’s behavior, declaring it “a socially acceptable way to be in Europe.” While I’m probably more sensitive to differing cultural norms than Samantha (who declares “Welcome to America, this is how it is.”), having been to France, I can’t say I saw anyone curled up in the fetal position afraid of life quite like Marjorie.
So Marjorie, who is clearly not emotionally strong enough to handle this competition, continues to glide through under the guise of “cultural differences”. And then there’s Elina, who is a cocky bitchy at the beginning of the competition when she naturally excels at everything. However, when the judges start criticizing her midway through, Elina needs to find an excuse for her sub-par performance, so she grabs the one that’s already dangling in the air: she is European, too!
Never mind that Elina and Marjorie are nothing alike. Consider the judges’ criticisms: Elina is too controlled, Marjorie lacks control. Elina shows no emotion, Marjorie is an emotional basketcase. Elina hates everyone, Marjorie hates herself. Somehow, however, these two get it into their heads that they are suffering from the same affliction anyway: Europeanism. “The reason maybe why I’m a little more reserved is because I am from Europe,” conveniently decides Elina. Then she tries to shut down justifiable rebuttals by declaring, “Unless you’re from Europe or European, you will not understand, you just won’t,” which elicits awkward nodding from Marjorie and a full-on eye-roll from Joslyn.
Samantha is pretty much over these excuses, asking, “Didn’t you guys move here when you were eight?” “Do you understand how hurtful that is?!” Elina rages. Then she repeats the same line with tears in her eyes, adding, “As if I haven’t dealt with that my whole life – living here.” That’s right, practice getting in touch with those emotions, Elina. The reason it’s so hurtful is that she’s getting called out on her bullshit.
Then Sheena asks whether the European duo is happy to live in America. “She might as well have said ‘go back to your country!’” says Elina, blowing it out of proportion. I’m team Sheena (who is also the child of immigrants) on this one because she keeps dropping nuggets of wisdom like “You’re only an immigrant in your mind” and “It’s where you’re going, not where you’re from.” Sage words from a hooch! McKey also sees how quick the girls are to blame their own faults on a European identity, while Joslyn decides, “I don’t have time to worry about immigration.” Don’t bother your [debatably] pretty little head, Joslyn, that’s for the politicians and equally self-important models to bicker about.
Elina and Marjorie luck out when this cycle’s trip abroad is to Amsterdam, allowing them to return to their European roots. And finally they thrive! No, just kidding, their faults actually just follow them to Europe where the girls are quickly eliminated, but not before Tyra has Elina become a screaming “fashion monster” and Marjorie drinks wine until she makes an ass of herself. God, it really sucks to be European.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls5geyMlnQ1r2aqf7o1_400.jpg)
tyra could kick her ass any day..
did you see tyra throw her over the couch at 1:06?? and the tyra takedown at the end??
antm cycle 17 opening theme
this doesn’t look like the the CK one commercial at all…..
we all now have proof that tyra is actually crazy.
top model this wednesday!
Why the fuck does Tyra live in a jank ass log cabin? And how come all the models were looking hella busted? Get yo shit together TyTy.
another cycle of top model starting this wednesday..y’all know what that means..MORE CRAZY TRYA
